wRonG pLaNeT

Today is one of those days where living with Autism can be extremely overwhelming as a Parent.  I have been struggling with sleep with Kendall since February, waking up during the night, in and out of the lounge, switching lights on and off, getting back to bed and then repeating the same ritual for a couple of hours with the odd shreek inbetween that frightens the living daylights out of you.

In the last week I tried Melatonin which seemed to help for a few nights, but the last couple of days we have been back to the same habits. Shouting just makes things worse and makes her cry and bang her head against the wall. Speaking calmly doesn’t always help either when she is in a state of anxiety. The Melatonin seems to have awakened some senses, which comes with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Each evening before she goes to bed she takes water and wets her tummy, and the top of each leg (sames places every night). This morning Kendall was trying to get dressed with ritualistic behaviour of putting her trousers on in her bedroom, lights on and off, going to the bathroom, taking trousers off, back to the bedroom and changing into another pair of trousers and the same behaviour all over again about 50 times.

I know that she can’t help it and that there is something sensory going on with her, either inside or outside her body, but with her being non verbal it is very difficult to speculate and know what she is really going through. I seriously wish I had the answers as I feel like I am in need of therapy at the moment! Some days I cope and others I don’t. Today is one of those days where I am not coping.

What I do know, is that the way that I have taught Kendall has been totally off the mark all these years. We are trying to make children with Autism conform to our world and they make no sense of our world. An example is that I made Kendalls room very pretty and girly with loads of hanging fairies, a tree with fairy lights and fairies hanging from the tree, lamps and pretty wall hangings.  All of these things were trashed and now her room consists of a bed and curtains and thats it. It’s not because she is naughty it is because these “things” are not important and they serve no purpose in her world.

Another example is “stimming” (self stimulation). We are conditioned to teach our children not to self stimulate. Why not? It is one of lifes pleasures for them and we are teaching them not to do it. They experience all their senses differently to what we do and is often their way of communicating with the world. People with Autism have their own language

Sensory overload causes meltdowns as people with Autism hear, see and experience the world differently to what we do. If people with Autism are so different and their brains are different, why are we trying to convert them into “Neurotypical” beings? I think we have all lost the plot somewhere. A perfect example of this would be medication. Medications are developed for neurotypical brains and so when a child with Autism is given medication, they are pretty much being used as a guinea pig to see what works and what doesn’t (trust me I know – thousands of Rands later and what a complete waste of time).

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just let our children be, let them explore the world  and environment for themselves instead of insisting they become part of our world and conform to our rules. Who wrote the book on social rules anyway?

Advertisement